I am excited to introduce a new blog series for this coming year. One morning this December, the Christmas we lost Darla was replaying in my mind. I was re-experiencing the pain, remembering how I felt so isolated in my brokenness. All at once, it became clear what I needed to write next; “Christmas in pieces: to the mama who lost her baby” began.
After losing something as pure and beautiful as a baby, it is only natural to be broken and confused. Your existence is decimated, small pieces of soul spilled out and exposed. You become a shattered pile of debris, only pieces and shadows of who you used to be. You are a mother ready to nurture and grow, but missing the baby who made you so. Your arms quite literally feel empty, longing for the weight of a little baby that vanished.
2019 is the year I want to explore the brokenness left in by wake of infant loss with my “in pieces” series. I want to go deeper, not just dance around with platitudes. I want to explore the stress on relationships and marriages from loss. I want to speak to the confusion and guilt of bringing home a baby after you have lost one. I want to speak hope to the broken mama on her first Mother’s Day.
Each month, I will release an “in pieces” post. If you have been through one loss, many losses, or you know someone who has: this series is especially for you. Sign up for email updates, and reach out if you’d like to share your story. Join in at any time. If you know someone who could use hope, please share.
This world, your family, your friends, your children (current and future) need you. It’s impossible to go back to the person you were before loss. You and I are on the losing end of a statistic. We know too much. It’s not an easy climb back. It can be scary to imagine anything different; you know how much loss hurts. Contrary to logic, please keep hope alive. I promise, it is worth it.
Thank you for this. I lost my baby 2 days after Thanksgiving this year. She was 6 days old when her pulmonary hypoplasia became too much for her tiny little body. I read your angel Darla Jane’s story on your other blog and found so many similarities to our story. Our angel Isabella had a different condition than Darla’s but we had a 2-month hospital stay leading up to her birth and your blog reminded me of so many of our experiences. Every day that goes by I worry I will forget the details of our fight for our baby but your blog eased my fear a little. Hopefully one day I will be able to put pen to paper and chronicle our fight like you did. So thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this with me. I am so sorry for your loss <3 if you ever need to talk, especially about how to get started writing through your grief, please email me: kristine@mywesternnest.com