i’ve just been thinking

I haven’t blogged in a while, and the only reason I can think of (besides being busy) is that I’ve been digesting everything that’s happened.  So much has changed in the last month, it’s been a lot to take in.  Gracie turned one, I turned 30, we celebrated Mother’s Day, and I ran my first half marathon since baby.

Photo by Laura Wagner Photography

Almost half of what I was looking forward to in 2016 happened in the span of a few weeks.  And yet, although change is often scary, I truly feel relieved to slow down.  I’m glad to have taken time to take it all in.  I feel relieved that the build-up is over.

I just turned 30, and I already like this decade more than my 20s.  I feel settled,more confident, and I care less about a lot of stuff.  It’s almost like someone flipped a switch. It’s refreshing.


Gracie turned 1, and I didn’t turn into a pile of nostalgic mush.  I only cried like twice.  In fact, I love having a one year old.  I love saying “my toddler.”  I love feeling proud as I look back at the highs and lows of the past year.  I love watching her toddle around on her one-year-old legs, taking steps like a champ.

Photo by Laura Wagner Photography
Photo by Laura Wagner Photography

I ran my first half since baby (on my birthday), and my legs didn’t fall off.  In fact, it went even better than I had hoped.  Not only did I gift myself a shiny new PR, but I enjoyed the race so much!  While I still love running, I love a lot of other stuff now too.  It was nice to see that I could focus more on life, less on running, and still accomplish my goals.


I celebrated my third Mother’s Day since Darla, and it was still emotional and wonderful and beautiful.  I felt the slight pains in my heart when I remembered my lost daughter, and I felt the unbelievable feelings of wholeness when I got sloppy kisses from my Gracie Kate.  I felt special, appreciated, and loved by my little family.  More than last year, when I was so unsure about caring for a newborn, I felt confident in my role as Mom. 

 

When I look back at this last month, I feel like pinching myself.  This season in life has been bountiful, sometimes challenging, and always beautiful.  It’s not perfect, but who would want that?  As things quiet down, it’s the perfect time for me to just sit back and be thankful.  I’m just so thankful.

Hello, Summer!  Let’s do this.

 

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